(QUIET MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRAND MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
FRONT GATE BARKER: Hurry, hurry, step this way.
Get your tickets now.
Don't be shut out, friend. Step this way.
See the most wondrous sights imaginable
pulled from the four corners of the Earth.
Acts to delight, to thrill and to mystify!
Walk through these gates and into a world of wonder!
(MAN GRUNTING)
She is here, ladies and gents, live and in person.
That gun-slinging, sharp-shooting honey-pie of the Wild West.
He has traveled the world and baffled the crown princes of Europe.
- He will amaze! He will astound! (CROWD GASPS)
The Great and Powerful Oz!
I always knew that I was destined for show business.
And now look at me. A magician's assistant.
To think, an hour ago I was just
selling oil cakes on the midway.
OZ: Yes, well, opportunity comes
when you least expect it, my dear.
(MAY GASPS)
Wow! What a get-up.
- You won't need this. - Oh.
You are playing the simple country girl.
(GASPS) Oh!
(CHUCKLING)
A gift in honor of your debut.
Oh!
Now, this belonged to my grandmother.
A tsarina from Mirkutsk, and a decorated war hero.
Your grandmother?
Yes. She was killed in battle, the poor thing.
Which battle?
- Which battle? - Uh-huh.
Well, there are so many.
You've heard of the Battle of Kreplach?
No.
No? Good. That's where she died.
And this music box was the only thing to survive.
(QUIET MUSIC PLAYING)
(GASPS)
But I know that Grammie would want you to have it.
(DOOR OPENS) - Professor.
Frank! The sock is on the door.
We're rehearsing.
How many times do I have to tell you to knock?
Knock.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
I knocked.
- What is it? - Showtime.
Why didn't you say something?
Only a half a house. Here's the take.
Pitiful.
All right, this is your cut.
For you, the applause will be approbation enough.
(MAY LAUGHS)
Well, how do you think I feel?
A man of my talents,
I should be playing the Orpheum Circuit!
Instead of some dusty podunk
in a second-hand jacket falling apart at the seams.
You're gonna have to patch this thing again.
- Again? - Yeah.
- Let's go. Hat! (BLOWS)
- Hat. MAY: - Hat. Okay.
- You're the new girl, huh? - Yes.
Good, we needed a new one. The last one left us.
Poor thing. Suffered from a broken heart.
Attack. Heart attack.
But she's resting comfortably now in Abilene
expected to make a full recovery.
Perhaps you'd like to join her.
Now, remember, when I ask for a volunteer...
I raise my hand. (LAUGHS)
You are overqualified for this job, my dear.
Let's go make some magic.
SIDESHOW BARKER: Ladies and gentlemen,
the show has already begun.
There are still a few seats left.
Don't miss your chance to see Oz, the Great and Powerful!
OZ: Journey with me now, across those deserts
to the mystical lands of the Arabian Peninsula.
(PIANO PLAYING MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
For 5,000 years,
her lonely spirit has been trapped.
But tonight, we will attempt to free her.
I shall require a volunteer from the audience.
Anyone.
How about you, madam?
Oh! Yes, I would like to volunteer.
(LAUGHS HUMORLESSLY)
How kind of you. Please.
(SOFTLY) Just remember what I told you.
A simple country girl, ladies and gentlemen.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
Now, you have nothing to fear, just so long as you believe.
For when you do believe
anything is possible.
(BLOWING)
You are growing sleepy.
Your eyelids become heavy.
Sleep!
Come, Fernanda!
(DRUM ROLL)
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
Allow yourself to merge with this woman before me.
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
Can you hear me, oh, Queen Fernanda?
(HOARSELY) Yes.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
Then rise.
Rise!
(GASPS)
I command you to rise!
(BLOWING PIPES)
Rise from your tomb of sand.
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
Rise as your spirit...
I see a wire!
You are mistaken, sir.
I am not!
There is a wire!
There is a wire holding her up!
A wire?
I see it, too. It's right there.
(AUDIENCE GRUMBLING)
MAN 1: Clear as day. Can't you see 'em?
MAN 2: He's fooling us.
A wire!
What need have I of wires? Frank.
(DRUM ROLL)
(CYMBALS CRASH)
(GASPING)
(APPLAUSE)
Make me walk!
What's that?
Make me walk.
Not now, kid. Let us leave the wonders...
But I believe in you.
Look, it's not much, but it's all that we have.
Whatever you could do.
I would make you walk, it's just...
It's just that...
MAN 1: Well, go on, then. Make the girl walk.
Make the kid walk.
MAN 2: Come on, you big phony.
BOY: Yeah, come on!
I would make her walk, of course,
but unfortunately there is a distemper in the ether tonight.
Make the kid walk, you big phony.
You see?
(SOBBING)
I'm sorry, but...
(AUDIENCE JEERING)
Thank you. Thank you.
Oz, the Great and Powerful.
Why didn't you close the damn curtain sooner?
I was dying out there.
There was nothing you could have done.
I didn't really think it was that bad.
Of course not. You're just a trained monkey.
You know, you shouldn't be so mean to me all the time, Professor.
After all, I'm the only friend you've got.
Friend?
You're not my friend, Frank. I don't need a friend.
What I need is someone who knows when to close the damn curtain.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
It's a woman.
Ah! Finally some good news.
You want me to wind up a music box?
No.
Not for this one, Frank.
Hey, Annie.
Hello, Oscar.
Hmm.
You look lovely.
Thank you.
What is this? Gingham? (CHUCKLES)
You know it is.
It was a wonderful show.
Oh, don't tell me you watched that debacle.
I don't know why you didn't just tell that poor girl the truth.
What truth? That I'm a fake? They would have had my head.
And worse, they would have demanded a refund.
Come on, have a seat.
I'll get you some tea.
(THUMPING) - Ooh!
(OZ CHUCKLES)
It's been a long time. I haven't seen you since...
The last time you rolled into town.
It's not often enough, Oscar, seeing you once every few months.
(SIGHS) Well, it is a traveling circus.
How's everything on the farm? How's your ma?
She didn't send me a pie this time.
I hope she's not mad.
I meant to write.
I need to tell you something, Oscar.
That's never a good start to a conversation.
John Gale asked me to marry him.
That's why I've come.
I thought you should know.
Oh.
I think that's... That's wonderful, Annie.
I said I had to think about it.
(CHUCKLES HUMORLESSLY)
Oh, men love that answer.
I wondered what you thought I should do.
You could do a lot worse than John Gale.
He's a good man.
ANNIE: So are you.
OZ: No.
I'm not.
I'm many things, but a good man is not one of them.
But you could be.
(SIGHS)
If you wanted to.
Well, that's just it.
I don't want to.
See, Kansas is full of good men.
Church-going men that get married and raise families.
Men like John Gale.
Men like my father,
who spent his whole life tilling the dirt
just to die facedown in it.
I don't want that, Annie.
I don't want to be a good man, I want to be a great one.
I want to be Harry Houdini and Thomas Edison
all rolled into one.
That's all I ever wanted for you, you know.
Greatness.
Then you understand.
I do.
But do you?
Uh, Professor, you need to look outside.
No, Vlad, please. It was his grandmother's.
- Ahl
I'm gonna rip him in half!
(GRUNTING)
- No, please! - Get off!
It was just his grandmother's music box.
It meant nothing.
VLAD: Oz!
I have to go.
Congratulations on the engagement.
Oscar.
I'll see you in my dreams.
(VLAD YELLS) (SCREAMS)
VLAD: Oz!
I'm gonna rip your head off!
Zim Zallah Bim!
Oz!
There he is! He's out here!
No, Vlad! Don't hurt him!
Vlad!
- Vlad, no! - Whoa!
I'm gonna crush you, Oz!
(GRUNTING)
I'm gonna crush you!
BAUM: Oz! Where are you going?
Mr. Baum, I'll catch up with you in Milwaukee.
Half of that balloon is mine!
OZ: And the other half is mine!
BAUM: All right, you loafers! Roll up those tents!
(OZ PANTING)
(LAUGHS) (GRUNTS)
Oz!
- No, no, no. - You're not getting away!
OZ: Where's my thing?
Come here. Get him down, Clowny.
No, you don't! Oh, no, you don't!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Ah!
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
OZ: So long, sucker!
Get back here!
FRANK: Oz!
Oz, you're gonna need these!
OZ: Throw it! Now!
- Hat! - Hat!
Ha-ha!
You're a dead man!
Farewell! Au revoir! Auf Wiedersehen!
(CROWD SHOUTING) VLAD: - Run!
Run!
(GASPING)
No, no, no, no, no! No!
(SCREAMING)
Whoa!
(YELLING)
(PANTING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Please, I don't wanna die!
I haven't accomplished anything yet!
Just get me out of here and I'll do great things!
Please! Give me a chance!
I promise!
I promise. I can change.
(NOISE DIES DOWN)
(ORGAN PLAYING TUNE)
(GASPS)
(WIND WHISTLING)
(EXHALES)
Thank you. Thank you!
(SCREAMING)
Come on, come on!
(SCREAMING)
Oh, no!
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(TWITTERING)
(BELLS RINGING)
(CHIMES TINKLING)
(CHIMING)
(STRUMMING MUSICALLY)
(BLOWING TUNEFULLY)
(BUBBLING)
No, no. No, no. Come on, buddy.
I can't swim. No! I can't swim.
(GASPING)
Somebody, help me!
(HOOTING)
Thank goodness.
I thought I was dead.
Unless you're an angel. Am I in heaven?
(LAUGHING)
There is still hope for me!
You won't regret this!
I saw you fall from the sky.
Oh. Uh... Yes, my balloon hit, uh, an inverted thermal.
I couldn't compensate.
WOMAN: I'd get out of the water if I were you.
Oh. It's actually quite nice.
I'd be more concerned with the River Fairies.
Their teeth are small, but very sharp.
River Fairies? (CHUCKLES) What's a River Fairy?
(CHOMPING SOUND) - Ow!
Ow! Get off!
Ow! Ow!
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
Psst. Psst.
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
Go on, get out of here.
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
(CHITTERING)
(WHISTLING TUNEFULLY)
Spiteful little things, aren't they?
Where... Where am I, exactly?
Where do you think you are?
I have no idea. It's...
It's like no place I've ever seen.
You're in Oz.
Oz?
But that's my name.
Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman
Henkle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs.
But everyone calls me Oz.
I knew it! The king's prophecy was true.
He said that a great wizard bearing the name of our land
will descend from the heavens, and save us all.
And here you are.
Here to claim your throne.
"Claim my throne"?
You mean, like a king's throne?
Well, yes. Because you will be our king.
Your king?
Like, in a palace with a crown and a scepter?
Yes, a beautiful scepter and a grand palace.
Oh. And you will save all the people.
Was that a gold scepter?
Yes, there's more gold than you could ever imagine.
And Oz will now be what it once was.
Because you are the Wizard, aren't you?
Yes.
I'm the Wizard. (CHUCKLES)
(LOUD SHRIEKING) (GROWLING)
- What was that? - The Wicked Witch's minions.
They've been sent here to kill you.
Kill me?
A wicked witch? What?
(LOUD GROWLING) - Oh!
We better hurry or your reign will be over before it's begun!
- Whoa! - Whoa!
OZ: - Oh! Whoa! - Oh!
OZ: Come on!
In there!
Give me your leg.
(CREATURE GROWLING) - Huh?
(CREATURE GRUNTING)
(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING)
Oh... Perhaps the Wicked Witch has summoned them back.
I don't think I like witches.
(CHUCKLING)
What?
I... I, too, am a witch.
I am Theodora the Good.
(LAUGHS)
You're not a witch.
Of course I am.
Where are all your warts? Where's your broom?
What would I do with a broom?
Fly.
With a broom?
Never mind.
(LOUD THUMP) (BOTH GASPING)
(CREATURE SNARLING)
(GASPING)
You were afraid?
Yes.
That something might happen to you.
OZ: So, this Wicked Witch,
just how wicked is she?
THEODORA: She's as wicked as they come.
She poisoned her own father.
That's pretty wicked.
He was a king and a wizard, like you.
But she wanted the throne all to herself.
Poor man.
But my sister chased her away from the Emerald City.
I can't wait for her to meet you.
She was starting to doubt you'd ever come but now she'll see.
And you're going to fix everything.
Yeah.
You know what I think we need?
A little music.
Is that magic?
In a way.
It's a music box. You've never seen one?
Well, this belonged to my grandmother.
A tsarina from Mirkutsk.
(QUIET MUSIC PLAYING)
Go on.
I want you to have it.
No one's ever given me anything just because they wanted to.
A pretty girl like you?
With the visage of Helen of Troy, no less?
I'm sure you have dozens of admirers.
You don't know much about witches, do you?
Maybe not, but I'm told I'm a fast learner.
May I have this dance, milady?
Now you're gonna tell me no one's ever asked you to dance before.
No one ever has.
Then it's high time that you learned.
Put your hand here.
And your other hand here.
Nice, isn't it?
Yes.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
Here I thought I'd live a lonely life
and then you showed up.
(SIGHS)
Not only are you the Wizard
but you're the person I belong with.
Well, we sure get along. And...
And?
And.
Like you said, we belong together.
Oh! I was hoping you would say that.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
FINLEY: Help me!
Somebody, save me! (GRUNTING)
THEODORA: That poor little creature.
Wizard, we must save him.
Somebody, help me.
Oh, no, no, no.
Allow the Wizard.
FINLEY: Help me! Come on!
Of course I'll save this
little talking monkey in a bellhop's uniform.
You, mister! Please, hurry up.
Do you have anything sharp? Like a knife or something.
How about your teeth? What kind of teeth you got?
OZ: (CHUCKLES) Calm down, it's gonna be all right.
You gotta get me out of these vines.
Calm down.
I'm gonna die. It's gonna eat me.
Don't worry. These vines aren't gonna eat you.
Not the vines, the lion!
(LION SNARLING)
- Lion? (ROARS)
FINLEY: We're gonna die.
- We're gonna die! (SCREAMING)
Eat him first! Eat him first!
Zim Zallah Bim!
Be gone, coward! Fear my greatness!
- You were wonderful, Wizard. (SCOFFS)
"Wizard"?
You mean the prophecy was true?
Indeed.
All right, well, I've saved the day.
It was nothing, just a little prestidigitatic display.
- Shall we to the palace? - Oh! Yes.
Good day, sir.
Wait, please, sir.
My name is Finley.
My master's home was ransacked by the Wicked Witch's baboons.
And I've been hiding in these woods ever since.
But now you've saved my life, oh, Wizard.
So I hereby swear a life debt to you.
No... No need.
From this moment on I shall be your loyal and faithful servant until death.
Well, he is cute.
All right, you're hired.
Wonderful.
Let's shake on it.
My bag, monkey.
Surely. You must travel light.
(CRASHING)
I got it.
(FINLEY GRUNTING)
You two run along.
THEODORA: It's the Emerald City.
Just down this hill, along the Yellow Brick Road.
OZ: Wow.
It'll all be ours now.
It's a good thing green is my favorite color.
(THEODORA LAUGHS)
You are going to make the best king Oz has ever known.
Thank you.
And I will be so proud to be your queen.
My queen?
We'll spend a lifetime together.
But right now, there's thousands of people in Oz
waiting to witness your miracles. (CHUCKLES)
Thousands? That's a big show.
(FINLEY GRUNTING)
Phew!
What now, Wizard?
Monkey, tell me again about that life debt.
- I devote my life to you. - Mmm-hmm.
Whatever you wish, whatever you want.
It is my sworn duty to deliver for you
- until the end of my days. - Mmm-hmm.
And there's no getting out of it?
None, sir. It is irrevocable.
Good. Because I'm not the Wizard.
(FINLEY LAUGHS)
Oh, sir, your sense of humor is as boundless as it is wondrous.
- You remind me... - Monkey.
I'm not the Wizard.
Well, you could have told me before I sealed the life debt.
It's too late.
You got to come clean for that innocent young girl.
I'll deal with her later.
As my new assistant all you need to know are the three "ups".
Show up, keep up, shut up.
But...
What's the third "up"?
Right. Now, listen, I'm depending on you.
We need to convince the good people of Oz
that they've found their wizard.
(FANFARE PLAYING)
(HUFFS)
THEODORA: Hello, Knuck.
Theodora, we've been expecting you.
I shall blow a fanfare.
(BLOWING TRUMPET)
No, no, no, no. No. Not now.
(KNUCK GRUNTS)
This is the Wizard.
How do you do, sir?
- This is the Wizard? (THEODORA GIGGLES)
Is there a problem?
Yeah.
(SOLDIERS GRUNTING)
LEADER: - Halt. (GUARDS VOCALIZE)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
All hail the Wizard.
WINKIE GUARDS: All hail the Wizard.
The mightiest of mighties.
The greatest, most powerful
and most genuine of real and true wizards.
Thank you.
A wizard above scrutiny with no covert agenda
or subversive intention whatsoever.
- Okay. - A wizard of the highest moral rectitude.
He's just a real, good, solid wizard, everyone.
The Wizard, here he is.
How'd I do?
(HORSES WHINNYING)
LEADER: Forward, march!
FINLEY: (STAMMERING) Hello? Guys?
Can I get in the carriage?
Can I please get in the carriage?
(STRAINING)
- I shall blow a fanfare. THEODORA: - Not now.
(KNUCK GRUNTS)
Is that it? Is that my throne?
Do you like it?
I do so hope you like it,
because I've been personally watching over it awaiting your arrival.
OZ: Oh...
Much obliged.
Praise be you are here at last
and the prophecy shall be fulfilled.
Oh, this is a glorious day for us all.
And may I add, you're as handsome a king as we've ever had.
(CHUCKLES) Flatterer.
Who is this fetching woman?
This is my sister.
I am Evanora, the royal advisor.
I have been protecting the Emerald City whilst we awaited your arrival.
I am here to serve you as I served the king before you.
Well, I look forward to being served.
Oh, sister, I like him already.
Oh... My scepter.
EVANORA: Oh, yes, go on then, have a seat.
How does it feel?
Fits like a glove.
Goodness. Knuck will show you to your chambers
and then we can, uh...
(WHISPERING) We can chat more later.
Can't wait. Monkey, my bag.
Yes, Wizard, right away, oh, great and powerful one.
(KNUCK GRUNTING)
- Thank you, sourpuss. - Whoa! (GRUNTS)
My name is Knuck!
Isn't he wonderful? Didn't I say he would come?
You dare escort that oaf in here
and allow him to climb on the hallowed throne?
And why not? He is the Wizard.
"The Wizard." Or so he says.
Did it not occur to you
that he might be an imposter in league with the Wicked Witch
and sent here to kill us?
The Wicked Witch? Don't be ridiculous.
(SCOFFS) I'm not the one who's underestimating her cleverness.
Or maybe it's you I'm underestimating.
Have you finally joined her side, sister?
I am on no one's side. You know that.
I simply want peace.
It's all I ever wanted, and the Wizard can do that.
He's a good man.
What do you know about goodness?
Deep down, you are wicked.
I am not wicked!
(THEODORA GASPS)
That temper really is wasted on you.
Do you honestly think
that I could conspire against you with her?
You are my sister and I love you.
All right.
But I do need proof that he is who he claims to be.
But he has already proven himself.
Not to me, he hasn't.
OZ: Thank you for the tour.
It's my job.
Giving tours?
Taking care of the king.
(LAUGHS) Of course. And on that note
I was thinking it might be nice to have a royal feast.
Maybe a grand roast.
You know, my sister has been telling me that your magic is really quite powerful.
Oh, really?
Yes, uh, boggling to the minds of all who witness it.
Oh, I do wish I could see it for myself.
- Yes. (GASPS)
Why not show me now?
- Now? - Here.
All things in good time.
And a good time for all things. (CHUCKLES)
So wise. So true.
Well, um, there is one last room
that I would like you to see.
The royal treasure of Oz.
It belongs to whoever is king.
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
It's all right, Wizard.
Go and enjoy your riches.
(OZ LAUGHING)
It's mine!
Mine!
Oh, no more second-hand suits for you, baby!
Nothing but the silks and satins!
Ali Baba!
(LAUGHING)
And one of these things! What is this?
- A chalice. - A chalice!
I've always wanted a chalice. And now I've got one.
Well, uh, not quite yet.
You see, you only become the king
after you defeat the Wicked Witch.
That's the prophecy.
And since you haven't done that yet, you're not...
- I'm not actually king. - Not yet, no.
You still have to get rid of the Wicked Witch.
Right.
And killing her won't be easy.
No, I don't suppose it will be.
Mmm.
Wait a minute.
No one said anything about killing anybody.
Oh. Well, if you're not interested in being king that's all right with me.
We can just forget about the whole thing.
The gold and the rubies, the chalice.
I'm interested!
I'm just not too keen on killing a lady.
She's not a lady.
She's a wicked witch.
And your magic is the only thing strong enough to destroy her.
All you have to do is journey to the Dark Forest
and destroy her wand.
- Her wand. - Yes.
It's the source of all her power.
Without it, she dies.
I haven't even said goodbye to Theodora. She will be upset.
I will talk to her in the morning.
I will tell her how much you love her...
No.
No, don't... Don't say anything.
All right. I will say whatever it is you want me to say
but are you going to save us all or not?
I'm your wizard.
FINLEY: We're really gonna do this?
How hard could it be to kill a wicked witch?
Hard. Really hard.
It's very, very hard to kill a wicked witch.
And what about that poor girl back there?
I think she really liked you.
She'll get over me. They always do.
She's a pretty young witch.
There'll be plenty of wizards knocking at her door.
Oh, every lie you tell gets us one step closer to the Emerald City dungeon.
Then don't think of them as lies.
Think of them as stepping stones on the road to greatness.
Wait, I got it.
We'll turn around and go back. You'll come clean.
You apologize for lying about being the Wizard
and for lying to that poor girl. Okay?
You gotta really seem contrite. You gotta sell it.
Maybe you could even cry. Can you cry? I could cut up an onion.
We're not going back.
We're gonna find this wicked witch,
steal her wand,
I'll get that big pile of gold
and you can have a nice pile of bananas, all right?
Bananas.
Oh, I see.
Because I'm a monkey, I must love bananas, right?
That is a vicious stereotype.
- You don't like bananas? - Of course I love bananas.
I'm a monkey, don't be ridiculous.
I just don't like you saying it.
How about this?
We offer to wash all the windows in the Emerald City
- for an entire year. - Uh-huh.
FINLEY: They'd have to forgive us.
Or we could give them a little help with their infrastructure.
I noticed some yellow brick potholes back there.
That looks bad.
We're not going down there.
Someone might need our help.
Not that you care.
Get back here! You get back here!
We gotta get the Wicked Witch. What are we doing over here?
What happened here?
(CRUNCHING)
(WIND WHISTLING)
(GIRL SOBBING) (GASPING)
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
Hello?
- Hey, there. (GASPS)
- Are you all right? (SNIFFLING)
Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt you.
This is Finley.
Hi.
My name is Oz.
GIRL: Are you...
Are you the Wizard?
Oh, you... You've heard of me.
Everyone has.
Good. Then you know there's nothing to be afraid of.
So, just come on out of there.
But I can't.
Oh. All right, hold on.
Get this off of you.
Oh, no.
(SNIFFLING) I'll never get back together.
Don't worry. I think I have something.
Give me that bag.
I, uh, packed something...
There it is.
CHINA GIRL: What is that?
Magic in a bottle.
Magic?
Let's give it a try.
All right.
Just give it a little dab.
Like so.
Okay.
Should work.
There we go.
Ta-da!
(RUMBLING)
Oh, no, no, no!
(FINLEY GASPING)
They're coming back!
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
It's okay.
(SNIFFLING)
(SOBBING)
They're gone.
- The Wicked Witch sent them. - Why?
Last night.
The whole town was celebrating out in the streets
because we had heard that you finally arrived.
Me?
Everyone was so happy.
But then...
But then those things flew in.
And then...
And then they...
(SOBBING)
Here we go.
Last piece.
Would you like to try to stand?
There.
All right.
There we go.
Easy.
Okay.
- I'm gonna let you go. - Oh!
Okay.
Now walk to me.
I don't think I can.
I think you can.
Come on.
(LAUGHING) All right.
You did it.
Thank you.
(FINLEY SNIFFLES)
"Dark Forest."
All right, this is it.
Just head on down that way, about two, three hours.
You'll hit the Emerald City.
Tell them I sent you, they'll take great care of you.
Nice meeting you.
But.
I wanna go with you.
What?
Aw...
On a witch hunt?
No, you're just a little girl.
I'm not as delicate as I look!
That didn't hurt.
I'm coming with you.
Listen, we have one rule in show business.
Never work with kids or animals.
And I'm already working with this thing.
(GROWLS) - Relax.
The answer's no.
(SNIFFLING)
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't... Don't do that.
You're fine.
(SOBBING) You're gonna leave me alone.
Look, you're... You're fine.
On a road in the middle of nowhere?
All you have to do is take the Yellow Brick Road.
You'll get there.
(SOBBING HYSTERICALLY)
It's crying again, what do I do?
(CHINA GIRL WAILING)
Oh, no.
Off. Come on. Off.
Off of there! Scat! Get off!
Please let me come with you.
No! Get off of there!
I promise I won't bother you!
No dolls on the witch hunt!
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
- Please, let me come! - Fine.
Fine! If you wanna come, come.
We'll all go, it'll be a big party.
Great. Let's go kill ourselves a witch!
(HUMMING CHEERFULLY)
(BRANCHES CREAKING)
(CROWS CAWING)
CROWS: You'll die, you'll die, you'll die!
Did those crows just say that we were gonna die?
They did.
CHINA GIRL: Wizard?
(OZ GRUNTS)
Come on.
CHINA GIRL: I'm scared.
(OWL HOOTING)
Think there are ghosts out here?
No. Of course not.
Evil spirits maybe?
The undead? (WHIMPERING)
The undead?
Will you stop that?
(CHINA GIRL GASPS)
(FINLEY SCREECHING)
No. Get off!
Something's got my tail. Something's got my tail!
Will you calm down?
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SNARLING)
No! What is it?
CHINA GIRL: - Look out! - I wanna go home!
I wanna go home!
- Hey! - Hat!
Thanks.
CHINA GIRL: Look out!
OZ: - Come on. (FINLEY YELLING)
(GROWLING)
OZ: Hate the Dark Forest. Hate the Dark Forest.
CHINA GIRL: (PANTING) Oh, my gosh. That was close.
Where are we?
OZ: This must be the place.
So, how are you gonna kill the Wicked Witch?
All I need to do is get her magic wand.
Once I destroy that, she's finished.
Why don't you just use this?
- It's got a knife! - Where'd you get that?
I'm made of china.
I gotta protect myself somehow.
Give me that.
- Hey! (KNIFE CLATTERING)
- Honestly. - "Honestly" yourself.
(GASPS) Look.
CHINA GIRL: That must be her.
Come on.
OZ: (WHISPERING) She put down the wand.
But how are we gonna get it?
Hey!
(WHISPERING) Now, listen up.
Here's the plan.
The Wicked Witch is the triangle.
Monkey, you're the X. I'm the O.
China Girl, you're the squiggly line.
I wanna be a heart. Can I be a heart?
All right, fine. You're a heart.
Okay, now, heart stays here
as O makes his way over here.
X counters thusly.
Clear so far?
(SNEEZES)
(SNIFFLES)
Bless you.
Good work. You just sneezed away the plan.
- Sorry. - Never mind.
Just go over there and make some of your animal noises.
I'll grab the wand when she's not looking.
Get out of here.
(QUIETLY) Yes! Come on, come on.
(CHAINS ON GATE RATTLING)
(GATE CREAKING)
Oh, no!
(GASPING)
FINLEY: Moo!
Moo!
A cow?
FINLEY: Moo!
(WHISPERING) Come on. Come on.
- Hurry! - I got it!
- Break it. - Break it, Wizard.
- All right. - Break it!
WOMAN: Did you say "Wizard"?
(ALL SCREAMING)
No!
WOMAN: Are you really the Wizard?
Um... That's a complicated question.
I mean, what is a wizard? I...
Um...
Yes.
I'm the Wizard.
Then there's hope.
What's going on?
Not sure. I sneezed the plan away.
I have waited so long to meet you.
So, we've never met?
Certainly not.
I'd remember a thing like that.
You've never been to Kansas?
What is Kansas?
Is that where you're from?
My, you must have traveled very far to get to the Land of Oz.
I did.
I'm Glinda the Good. The Witch of the South.
I thought Evanora was the Good Witch.
Evanora is the true Wicked Witch.
Conniving and as cruel as they come.
She's fooled most everyone, including her own sister.
She made everyone believe that I poisoned my father
- but it was her. CHINA GIRL: - Then,
she's the one who destroyed my village?
I'm so sorry, child.
FINLEY: Here's your wand.
Sorry I mooed.
And to think, you almost killed Glinda for a bit of gold.
OZ: A bit?
There were mountains of it, buddy.
Not that I was going to do it.
I wasn't really going to break your wand.
Follow me.
Okay.
EVANORA: No.
No, no, no, no, no. It cannot be.
Curse you, Glinda.
You should be dead. I'll see you dead yet.
Curse you and your pretty little face.
(DOOR OPENS) THEODORA: - Sister.
Sister, the Wizard is missing.
I've looked everywhere, but he's gone.
What is it?
Where is the Wizard?
(CLEARS THROAT) Where's the Wizard?
With Glinda.
(SIGHS)
Then it's happening.
Oh, sister, he's fulfilling the prophecy.
He'll bring her darkness to the light and peace to the land.
Yes, I'm certain that's what is happening. It must be.
Where did you get that?
This?
Oh.
It was a gift. From him.
He came to my chambers last night.
Oh, how we danced.
- For hours, it seemed. (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, I can still feel his body pressed against mine.
Oh, sister, you were right about him.
He is the great Wizard.
He must be, to make me feel the way I feel.
Oh, no.
Not you, too, sister?
He said we would rule Oz together.
He said I would be his queen.
Did he?
Are you quite sure it wasn't you who said it to him?
(SOBBING)
You fool!
(WAILING)
Serves you right.
(SCREAMS)
I want Glinda and that wizard torn to shreds.
Do not fail me a second time.
(YELLING) Fly!
(GUARDS GRUNTING)
GLINDA: On the day my father died, we lost a kind and noble leader.
And a dark shadow was cast across this land.
I've had to stand alone against Evanora and watch
as towns were destroyed, children were orphaned
and my heart was broken.
I've been unable to protect the good people of Oz by myself.
With only faith in my father's prophecy, I've waited.
For you.
Great Wizard from Kansas, to come and set things right.
Oh.
So, that's the prophecy.
Um...
Well, you see, when I agreed to be king,
I didn't realize how complicated all of this was.
She knows.
What?
Evanora knows you know the truth now. Look.
CHINA GIRL: Oh, no.
Uh...
What do we do?
Wizard, now is the time.
The time?
Use your magic.
Oh...
My magic. Yes. Uh...
(YELLING)
I think we should run.
Run?
Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
You heard the Wizard. Run!
CHINA GIRL: Let's get out of here!
OZ: Let's go!
(OZ WHIMPERING)
They're gaining on us!
(STAMMERING) What are you doing?
Is... Is that gonna stop them?
I don't know.
(GUARDS GRUNTING)
Nice work. We lost them.
Phew! That was close.
Yeah.
Wait, I hear something.
(ROARING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
CHINA GIRL: They're getting closer!
OZ: Wait for me!
(OZ GRUNTING)
Look out!
(VOICE ECHOING) Monkey!
Little China Girl!
CHINA GIRL: Wizard! I'm over here!
(GRUNTS) (CHINA GIRL SCREAMING)
- Help! Catch me, please! - Got you!
(OZ GRUNTS)
- Are you all right? - Yes.
I'm okay, too.
(BABOONS SCREECHING)
Just go!
Great! A bunch of fog.
This is her big idea on how to save us?
Well, it was the best I could do under the circumstances.
Uh...
(ALL PANTING)
OZ: Oh, okay.
Whoa!
Catch her!
Get me! Don't let go!
CHINA GIRL: Monkey, grab her!
OZ: Don't let go! Don't let go!
FINLEY: Pull my tail. Ow!
Not so hard.
(ALL STRAINING)
CHINA GIRL: They're getting closer!
OZ: What do we do?
What do we do?
Just do what I do.
- Unless you've got something. - Uh...
No, you go.
Wait. What are you doing?
Wanda!
Where are you going?
She said to do what she did.
Just because she jumped off the cliff, you're gonna jump off the cliff?
I have wings.
- What about me? CHINA GIRL: - Come on!
Um...
(SCREAMING)
(BUBBLING SOUNDS)
Whee!
Whoa! Oh! Oh!
Whoa!
(GIGGLES)
Wow.
Whoa!